July 29, 2012


No word on what they charge egos...


I was driving around aimlessly for hours yesterday - well, you would to if someone chucked you the keys to a wonderful convertible in this weather - doing my favourite thing: getting lost in someone else's expensive car. I basically head north, and more north, then take any sideroad that catches my eye. Once I'm totally lost, I snap on the navigation system, usually realize I am still lost, but like it even more. The nav has a way of trying to push you back onto nasty roads like Highway 401. A bold orange line tries to drag your car back to the big red highways. I do not want big red highways. I want little weird roads. So when the nav lady says 'prepare to make a right turn, take a right turn now, go right, argh what the hell is wrong with you, woman' I just keep on going. You can always gets from here to there; anybody knows that. I'm not sure what I'm looking for, actually. Though yesterday I slowed all the way down for what I thought was a kitten I was going to rescue, only to have said kitten be a whole cat, and a cat with attitude at that. What I thought was a tiny lost baby mewling by the side of the road turned out to be a cat strolling down the road, totally knowing what it was doing and telling me to listen to the nav lady and get off his road and back onto the highway with all the other idiots. I will continue to slow down for kittens. I'm also checking out real estate, I realize. I'm so sick of the busy city (and yes, I'm aware I don't live in a big city), but it's still too big and noisy. I want peace and quiet. And a piece of quiet. I don't want to live on top of anyone else. If I want to go stuff one last thing into the blue box early on garbage day, I want to be able to scoot out in a tshirt and bare feet and not see anyone. I don't know exactly what I want, but I guess it will be like kittens: when it's right, it's right. And until then, I'll just keep avoiding the busy highways and hope that lost leads to found.

20 Comments:

Anonymous buzzwhack said...

I went for a long drive in the '72 GTO yesterday as well. Left town and headed west to Guelph via backroads, pulling through Erin, Oustic, Hillsburgh. I stumbled onto what I'm sure was the inspiration for Fall of the House of Usher. Ever felt completely chilly in brite sunlight looking at a house? Then went in by Watson Rd and left by HWY 6. A dude in an Audi sports coupe was desperately making let's race sounds but I let him go. Got home by 9pm and learned two things; cruising is fun and my mufflers are fried.

July 29, 2012 10:39 AM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

I snapped that pic in Guelph! I was noodling all over Hwy 6 and area - bet we passed each other. I was in a pretty brown 911. Nobody bothered making racing noises to me.

Wonder why....

July 29, 2012 10:42 AM  
Anonymous jmd said...

My sister and I went on a bit of a road trip yesterday too. We toured Wainfleet, Port Colborne, Port Robinson, Stevensville, and Niagara Falls. Our motto was "How lost can we get?" No nav system for us, just the Gail Positioning System.

We ended up at the casino. Who'd a thunk?

July 29, 2012 10:50 AM  
Anonymous jmd said...

P.S. Also sign a sign for "Cooling Flush - $29.95".

Was disappointed to find out it was for cars.

July 29, 2012 10:52 AM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

Heh. Heheheheheh.

I'm looking outside right now and thinking, "I need to work in the garden. I really, really need to work in the garden. I finish up some painting inside. And write a column.

Anybody wanna go for a ride? We all know I'm totally going for a ride. I'm dodging the call to give the car back. Sigh.

July 29, 2012 10:55 AM  
Blogger Chris Brown (not the felon) said...

We have been touring Hillsburg, Arthur, shelbourn etc for two years now trying to find our little island of sanity in a world slowly sliding down the slippery slope to insanity. We are one seat east of you and the opening of the Nature areas north of highway 5 to the evil developers has pushed us out the door of suburbia. But like your kittens, the perfect spot continues to elude us. If I listen to my grandparents (or rather their ghosts) I should be happy with a shoe box in a wagon rut on a muddy road.

Meanwhile I will inspect the cruise ships in the harbour of Barcelona. Not many 911s here.

July 29, 2012 10:55 AM  
Anonymous buzzwhack said...

I don't recall seeing a brown 911 but I did see a black one. I THINK it was black,I had amber sunshades on.I did not see a blonde bombshell in leather at the wheel. It was a gray haired guy... with a gut,a real boiler behind the wheel.Ruined the whole sexy convt vibe.....seriously.

July 29, 2012 10:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Was it a camel dung brown 911?

July 29, 2012 5:33 PM  
Anonymous buzzwhack said...

Anonymous said...
Was it a camel dung brown 911?

LOL....oh poor Porsche!11

July 29, 2012 5:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My husband and I take our motorcyles out and always take the road less travelled. Okay so I ride a Bergman, which is actually a big souped up scooter and the Harley guys always make fun of me behind my back, but they are a sick cult and I love riding it. One of our favourite things to do is looking at antiques on those out-of-the-way places which always have much better prices than the mainstream antique shops. I have wanted an old phone for years, you know the type the Walton kids would use when they went to Ike Godsey's general store, wall mounted with the piece you held up to your ear and the part sticking out to taln into? Well I found one last weekend. The most amazing thing, other then being priced at less than half of what I would have expected to pay, is that it was brand new in the box. The phone is about 80 years old but was recently found in a warehouse, never having been used. It is in pristine condition and has all the original working parts. It is absolutely amazing, a brand new antique. Thus, getting lost, ended my 20 year old quest for the antique phone.

July 30, 2012 9:11 AM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

Okay, you had me at Ike Godsey...

Great story. I kept wanting to pull into antique places (I'm looking for a chest for my new bathroom) but I'd look at the car I was driving, and realize the trunk, located in the front, holds about a ten pound bag of potatoes.

Wait. You got an old/new phone home on a bike??!!

July 30, 2012 9:16 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

No we had the cars at that point, but if you are familiar with Bergmans, they actually have quite a large trunk under the seat. It is perfect for the motorcylce-loving shopaholic. Our last antique purchase with bikes was a coat rack. We had to drive back to pick it up as we figured we would proabably impale someone if we drove home with it over my husband's shoulder. We visit the Dominican Republic each year and have to admire/be horrified at the antics of their scooter drivers. We are in agreement that the most admired/horrifying as yhe scooter with an adult male, one little kid in front of him, two behind and he was carrying three 8 foot planks over his shoulder secured by one hand as he was driving with the other.

July 30, 2012 9:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

No we had the cars at that point, but if you are familiar with Bergmans, they actually have quite a large trunk under the seat. It is perfect for the motorcylce-loving shopaholic. Our last antique purchase with bikes was a coat rack. We had to drive back to pick it up as we figured we would proabably impale someone if we drove home with it over my husband's shoulder. We visit the Dominican Republic each year and have to admire/be horrified at the antics of their scooter drivers. We are in agreement that the most admired/horrifying as yhe scooter with an adult male, one little kid in front of him, two behind and he was carrying three 8 foot planks over his shoulder secured by one hand as he was driving with the other.

July 30, 2012 9:47 AM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

And I know someone who paid a bazillion dollars to see Cirque de Soleil the other night:)

July 30, 2012 9:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How boring

July 30, 2012 9:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

BTW great antique town is Brighton, Ontario, just west for Trenton on the Highway of Heros. Lots of good places and you must always remember to bargain!

July 30, 2012 10:00 AM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

Ask my sister Roz how I bargain:

"Would you like me to pay you twice what you're asking?"

I'm hopeless.

July 30, 2012 10:11 AM  
Anonymous Roz said...

She's hopeless.

July 30, 2012 12:14 PM  
Anonymous Zenaoy said...

Heh - that's how I bargain too...

My latest road adventure: we were heading to Stratford via St. Jacobs Market, happily catching up on one-another's lives and pontificating on the woes of the world. The GPS was silently "re-calculating" on the arm-rest between us; silently, because we'd turned down the volume so it wouldn't disturb our conversation. We blissfully talked past all of the exits until we ended up at the turn-off to St. Thomas.

For my part, I'm a map and/or written directions person. You can't turn down the volume on a map...

So... Has anyone ever been to "14 St Parlla?" The anti-robot patrol seems to think I should be going there...

August 03, 2012 3:26 PM  
Anonymous Zena said...

"Zenaoy?"

Note to self: attempting to type blog comments and skype at the same time is beyond the capabilities of your middle-aged co-ordination (mental and hand-eye, both...).

August 03, 2012 3:34 PM  

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