"Uh, oh," said Roz. We were yapping on the phone, and as it's the end of the workday, and I hadn't heard her call waiting go off, I was worried something had gone sideways with her kitchen renovation. She's up to her ears in crazy, and most of our phone calls contain at least one tradesguy asking her a question, or a thundering loud bang as something hits a dumpster.
"I ignored my Sims today and they wet their pants."
My sister plays Sims. When the interactive computer game first came into being about ten years ago (I may be wrong; it's close), she played and so did my kids. You build a community, pick little people, build houses, and have them get jobs and have kids and cut the grass and go shopping and listen to music and go to parties. You have pretend people do all the things you as a real person would probably be doing if you weren't sitting on your computer pretending.
My kids were young when they first set up their Sims. Christopher was about ten, and used to build a house with an indoor pool. Because you have to 'buy' the things you use, he instantly went elsewhere on line and found the cheats necessary to have millions of dollars to get over that stupid buying what you could afford nonsense. Around the indoor pool he's put rows of stereo systems. He'd then have a party, put everyone in the pool, then pull up all the ladders and they'd all drown. My son is evil.
Ari, then 7 or 8, used to simply make his characters drink constantly, and not let them go to the bathroom. They have little indicators that tell you that your person has to pee, or is crabby, or whatever. He'd watch the have- to- pee line going up, see them doing the peepee dance (yes, this is a real thing; you've all seen it) and refuse to let them go. Then they'd pee their pants. My other son is also evil.
But not as bad as his Aunt Rozzy who had her Sims kids taken away from her by the Sims Children's Aid. I asked her why. Seems she'd forgotten she had them, and they'd starved, then had a house fire.
I'm sure this is exactly what the creators had in mind.
We will be mercifully computer free next week. I'm taking Ari and some of his friends to the cottage. I will spend each evening locked in my room watching old VHS movies: there are over 100 up there, and you all should be very, very glad that I can't blog about how much I love The Right Stuff, Diner, Apollo 13, Bull Durham, Say Anything, Fabulous Baker Boys, Big Night, The Big Easy, Thelma and Louise and and and....
I may play a hand or two of poker, if they ask nicely. They usually do. And yes, I'm aware they're just pretending to want me to. But everyone must humour the woman who makes dinner each night.